Duncan, Mohler, and "Relevance"

Relevancy is one of the most difficult matters that Christians face in our time, and thankfully Dr. J. Ligon Duncan has recently posted an entry on this topic on the Together for the Gospel blog. I commend this post to you: "Relevance, Customer Needs, and Faithfulness."

For those of you, such as myself, who like succinct overviews of various Christian topics, this is a great post to check out! Unless it's the issue of infant baptist, I find Dr. Duncan's material to be helpful, and he has spoken here at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in previous years.

Also, it seems that Dr. Mohler has weighed in on the issue as well (The Cutting Edge Has No Edge), and he basically argues that the churches that strive for relevance end up becoming some of the least relevant churches. His first paragraph summarizes the thought of Richard John Neuhaus, and I agree with them both on this matter:

Looking back farther than I would like to remember, I recall as a seminary student reading an article by Richard John Neuhaus (back when he was still a Lutheran) on the issue of relevance in ministry. In essence, Neuhaus argued that the churches most determined to be relative at all costs were destined to be the churches which were actually least relevant of all. Making an idol of relevance is a form of self delusion. Authentic relevance is represented by the transforming Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the faithful witness of the church throughout time.

I think he's on to something here! If we strive for relevance, we'll never hit the mark, because "relevancy" is always in the very immediate present. Once a church arrives at what it considers "relevant," it is already outdated. Instead--as Mohler and Neuhaus have reminded us--our relevance should come from the fact that we have a relevant message, the gospel, and it is as relevant for the 21-st internet porn addict as it was for the 1st-century temple prostitutes at Corinth. Since the 1st-century writers were inspired to pen the words of God, very little has changed...we've simply hidden our sins and sought to sophisticate them. Unfortunately, it's as futile as dressing a corpse. The sin and death is only buried beneath a facade of fatal beauty.

Let us carry the message of the gospel in stark contrast to the "gospel" of this world. May we strive for the relevant message of the gospel of Jesus Christ, a message that is relevant to the God who inspired it!

Devotion vs. Legalism

Mike Gilbart-Smith has written an article on the 9Marks ministy website entitled, "The Pursuit of Christ in the Devotions of the Pastor." I have not read the article in entirety, but this paragraph in particular caught my eye:

The human heart is so fond of legalism that, without a constant meditation on the grace of God given us in Christ, we will imagine that our spiritual achievements are reflective of our spiritual state. Pursuing Christ has the opposite effect. It shows us that any spiritual health we have is found only in Christ and that every success we have in ministry is found only in Christ. The glory goes entirely to Him.

Truly, the heart is fond of legalism. I've heard it said that legalism is what we do when we're not walking with the Lord. I know in my pre-conversion days that I believed I was spiritually okay because I did outward acts of human righteousness. We must have that "constant meditation on the grace of God given us in Christ."

I am grateful that this article has reminded me that my devotional life is about pursuing Christ, and I should never consider my devotional life as a means of grace in and of itself. Instead, my devotional life should have Christ as the focus and the glory of God as my aim.

Memento Mori

I found an interesting post on The Conventicle blog entitled, "Here Today..."

He touches on the medieval idea of memento mori in which people of that time would often include reminders of mortality in their writings, paintings, and the various other common facets of life. While some of the paintings, for instance, seem amazingly morbid or fanciful to the common person, the Bible constantly reminds us of our brevity: we are dust (Ps. 103:14), grass (Is. 40:6, 1 Pet. 1:24), and a mist that quickly vanishes (James 4:14).

In our society's efforts to suppress the truth of God, it seems that many have sought to soften the blow of death. Modern man seeks to deny this reality of death through fanatically trusting in medicine, glorifying death in movies to make it seem unreal, or simply avoiding the reality of death by living a life of pure, unadulterated hedonism (and I don't mean John Piper's Christian hedonism either). Either path will only lead to despair.

However, as believers, let us always remember that only Christ has defeated death, and we can only find that eternal life through a relationship with Him. Let us consider the brevity of life, and may that fact remind us to be diligent to spread the life-giving gospel of Jesus Christ.

KBC All-State Update

This past week’s Kentucky Baptist All-State Youth Choir blessed me tremendously, and I am so grateful for having had the opportunity to chaperone such a fine group of young adults! We sang at several churches this week, mostly to very small crowds, but it was a time of worship for us, regardless of the turn-out.

We did have a profession of faith this week. I pray that the Lord will continue to move in his life, and I invite you to pray for him as well.

Pray that the Lord will continue working in the lives of these young adults. I was saddened by the fact that we had to part ways, and I realize that there’s a real possibility that I will not see some of them ever again this side of heaven. However, I find comfort in knowing that the sovereign Lord of the universe has them in His hands, and His hands are strong to save and eager to sanctify.

Pray that each of these young adults will stay active in their churches and grow in their walk with the Lord. It’s easy for youth to fool chaperones while on a church trip. While my group was very well-behaved and seemed sincere in their faith, I fully realize that some of them may be totally lost. The ones that are true believers will often be tempted to shirk the church and stray from following Christ during their college years. Pray that the lost will be saved and the saved will be edified.

I do apologize for not having any profound thoughts in this post. My main desire was simply to update everyone about the trip and to officially say that I’m back. And, to those that have prayed for this event, thank you so much!

Finally, I just want to offer a public word of thanks to David Gagel, the youth music consultant for the Kentucky Baptist Convention, for organizing such a wonderful trip! He has a heart for these kids, and it really shows! So, thanks so much David for the impact that you have made in the lives of these youth from all over the state!

My only complaint is that I have to wait a whole year to do it again…

KBC All-State

I'll be chaperoning for the Kentucky Baptist Convention's All-State Youth Choir tour this upcoming week. Please be in prayer both for me and the youth. Pray that I will have the opportunity to share the gospel with any lost youth that may be at this event.

In addition to asking for prayer, be aware that I will porbably not be able to post new entries until I get back (Sunday, June 25th).

If you're new to the site, feel free to come back!

That I Might Grow...

This post is actually a combination of two separate entries that I wrote for my original blog in the month of November in 2005. This was after I passed through the first major spiritual valley after my conversion in February of 2005. Basically, I became discouraged by the fact that I still sinned so easily, and I began struggling with some old sinful habits that plagued me prior to my conversion.

My prayer is that this post will caution other believers to a reasonable view of Christian experience. I think that many new believers are given an unreasonable view of the Christian life, and this leads them to despair. In The Bruised Reed, Richard Sibbes warned against laying burdens upon the believer which are unreasonable of even the most seasoned believer. Instead, he urges us to treat new believers like fine glass to take great care with their souls.

The first entry details a meeting I had with a professor who encouraged me in my faith. Specifically, he told me to read a chapter in J.I. Packer's Knowing God.

The second entry deals with my thoughts about that chapter.

I pray that it will be edifying to you!

I Asked the Lord, That I Might Grow

Here's a wonderful hymn by John Newton. I encountered it in ch. 21 of J.I. Packer's Knowing God, which I heartily recommend.

I asked the Lord, that I might grow
In faith, and love, and every grace;
Might more of His salvation know,
And seek more earnestly His face.

I hope that in some favoured hour
At once He'd answer my request,
And by His love's constraining power
Subdue my sins, and give me rest.

Instead of this, He made me feel
The hidden evils of my heart;
And let the angry powers of hell
Assault my soul in every part.

Yea more, with His own hand
He seemedIntent to aggravate my woe;
Crossed all the fair designs I schemed,
Blasted my gourds, and laid me low.

'"Lord, why is this?" I trembling cried,
"Wilt thou pursue Thy worm to death?"
"'Tis in this way," the Lord replied,"
I answer prayer for grace and faith."

"These inward trials I employ
From self and pride to set thee free;
And break thy schemes of earthly joy,
That thou may'st seek thy all in me."

I thought this text was an eloquent representation of my own experience. After accepting Christ in February of this year, I found that months later, after the initial triumph, my heart was still so sinful. Granted, I knew very well that I would still be so sinful, but I was disheartened when the temptations returned.

I met with Dr. Shawn Wright, a professor at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and Boyce College, and after sharing with him the battle with sin in my own life, he pointed me to chapter 21 in Packer's Knowing God. While I haven't read the complete chapter yet, I was encouraged by the above text by John Newton.

Dr. Wright shared with me the relationship with God much parallels the relationship of a son and an ideal earthly father. Initially, the father protects the child and shelters him from all harm. At first, the father may refuse to let, or be very careful with letting others, hold his child. As the child matures, the father lets the child deal with more and more struggle and heartache. This is the sign of a good father.

In much the same way, I think that I have experienced this work of God in my own life. I have experienced that He has withdrawn some of the hedges and is letting me directly face more and more of the wiles of Satan. As the above hymn states, how could I find Christ altogether beautiful when He always protects from that which is not lovely. God does not tempt us, but He will let Satan assail us for a season, but He always provides a way out. Newton says that these inward trials are designed so that, "That thou may'st seek thy all in me."

The Christian life is truly a battle with sin. Since the initial victory and newness of my conversion is past, I have renewed my commitment to the battle, and I will renew that commitment to the battle daily. I will awake myself every morning and remind myself that the Christian life is a battle, and it is one in which I cannot take lightly.

Sanctification, ultimately a work of God, is not a passive experience. It requires diligence and effort, and that is where I have lacked and humbly ask God for His forgiveness. I must do a better job of actively fighting sin, and not letting it have even the smallest grasp on my life. The Christian life is war!

"But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror; for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was. But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not a forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does" (James 1:22-25).

These Inward Trials

After blogging about John Newton's poem on Thursday, I finally got around to reading chapter 21 (entitled "These Inward Trials") of Packer's book, Knowing God. I found it an immense help and blessing.

Basically, this chapter of Packer's book covers the battle with sin, and teaching of sanctification that he critiques as harmful to the believer. He never names the teaching, but it seems to be perfectionism, or at least a passive sanctification that comes very near to perfectionism. I want to relate certain quotes that I found particularly edifying.

Packer considers perfectionism to "promise at this point more than God has undertaken to perform in this world" (p. 245). Thus, in this way teachers of perfectionism set their new converts up for failure and preach a type of sanctification that is simply a bed of roses.
He continues:

While tough-minded listeners who have heard this kind of thing before take the preacher's promises with a pinch of salt, a few serious seekers will believe him absolutely. On this basis, they are converted; they experience the new birth; and they advance into their new life joyfully certain that they have left all the old headaches and heartaches behind them. And then they find that it is not like that at all. Longstanding problems of temperament, of personal relationships, of felt wants, of nagging temptations are still there--sometimes, indeed, intensified. God does not make their circumstances notably easier; rather the reverse. (p. 246)

Aye, there's the rub!

Many believers have had this experience, whether they believed in perfectionism or not. I certainly have not, and I did not hold to perfectionism at the time of my conversion. However, there is definitely a tendency to believe that problems of the past will no longer remain a problem, and this is part of what I experienced earlier this year when I came to know the Lord Jesus Christ through saving faith. I had the tendency to think that the old problems and temptations would not be there. I knew that I was a new creation (2 Cor. 5:17) with a new heart. However, I failed to actively attack my sin, and this led to much frustration and began to stunt my spiritual growth.

Just chapters later after writing about being a new creation in Christ, Paul urges the church at Corinth: "Let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God" (2 Cor. 7:1). In the chapter before he had just discussed being separate, and even in light of the new heart mentioned in chapter 5, we still must actively choose not to sin. I still sin, and sin often. The only difference is that now I have the will and ability to obey, whereas before I was simply a slave to sin, unable to ultimately overcome the sin in my life.

The truth of the matter is that Christians will always sin, and if anyone sins that he is sinless, he is a liar (1 John 1:9), according to the Word of God. In our Thursday chapel session at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, Dr. Thomas Schreiner gave an excellent sermon (click here for MP3 download) on Philippians 3:12, ff., which speaks of our perfection, which will only be accomplished in heaven. He related the story told him by Dr. Bruce Ware, another professor. Dr. Ware had a friendly, personal debate with another theologian who believed in sinless perfectionism. During the course of the discussion, this fellow theologian proclaimed that there was currently no known sin in his life. Dr. Ware asked him if he sensed that, just as in his own heart, he wanted to win the debate partly just as a matter of pride. The other theologian had to admit to Dr. Ware that he was correct in such an assumption. Thus, we'll never be perfect this side of heaven.

In fact, Packer considers the confusion between perfection in heaven and perfection on earth as the problem that needs to be addressed by teachers of perfectionism. This teaching, "confuses the Christian life on earth with the Christian life as it will be in heaven. It misconceives the psychology of Christian obedience (Spirit-prompted activity, not Spirit-prompted passivity" (p. 249).

Finally, let me share the last quote that solidified much of my thinking on this whole experience of sanctification and actively warring against sin:

God wants us to feel that our way through life is rough and perplexing, so that we may learn thankfully to lean on him. Therefore he takes steps to drive us out of self-confidence to trust in himself--in the classical scriptural phrase for the secret of the godly life, to "wait on the Lord." (p. 251)

Any true Christian should actively choose to obey and focus on loving Jesus Christ and seeing Him as altogether lovely and worthy of our lives. Thankfully, Jesus has provided the victory, and "there is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit" (Rom. 8:1, NKJV). In this way, our life is a constant, active walking and pursuit of Christ and His will for our lives, and we must choose the path of righteousness and walk in the direction of the Spirit's leading (Gal. 5:16).

Hymn for Today: "My Song Is Love Unknown"

I had never sung this song growing up, and I do not believe it is in the latest 1991 Baptist Hymnal. However, the text deserves inclusion in every hymnal, in my opinion. You may agree as you read the text. It is found as hymn #182 in the Trinity Hymnal:

1. My song is love unknown,
My Savior's love to me,
Love to the loveless shown
That they might lovely be.
O who am I, that for my sake
My Lord should take frail flesh and die?

2. He came from his blest throne,
Salvation to bestow;
But men cared not,
And none the longed-for Christ would know.
But oh, my Friend, my Friend indeed
Who at my need his life did spend!

3. Sometimes they strew his way,
And his sweet praises sing;
Resounding all the day
Hosannas to their King.
Then "Crucify" is all their breath,
And for his death they thrist and cry.

4. Why, what hath my Lord done?
What makes this rage and spite?
He made the lame to run,
He gave the blind their sight.
Sweet injuries! Yet all his deeds
Their hatred feeds; they 'gainst him rise.

5. They rise, and needs will have
My dear Lord made away;
A murderer they save,
The Prince of Life they slay.
Yet willing he to suff'ring goes,
That he his foes from thence might free.

6. In life, no house, no home
My Lord on earth might have;
In death, no friendly tomb
But what a stranger gave.
What may I say? Heav'n was his home,
But mine the tomb wherein he lay.

7. Here might I stay and sing,
No story so divine;
Never was love, dear King,
Never was grief like thine.
This is my Friend, in whose sweet praise
I all my days could gladly spend.

Lloyd-Jones and Fads

Here's a gem that I ran across in D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones classic book, Preaching and Preachers:

Instead of just perpetuating certain practices we must ask: Why should I do this? How did this custom ever start? As we do so we shall find that so many of these things which are regarded as essential were only introduced, and for wrong reasons, towards the middle of the last century. How different the state of our churches would be if we were all concerned to be orthodox in our beliefs as we are to be orthodox in our conformity to "the thing to do" and "the done thing" in the churches (p. 247).

Spiritual Communists?

The following post was originally posted on September 24, 2005 on my old blog. I don't know if I articulated myself as well as I could have. My basic point is that some believers act like communists, in essence. In the communist system, everyone gets the same thing, so there really is no real incentive to be productive. I know people that have immigrated to America from Cuba, and it is sometimes a culture shock to them.

"Spiritual Communists" believe that once they become a Christian and are part of the family of God that it no longer matters what they do. However, let us be reminded that we will "all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil" (2 Cor. 5:10, ESV).

That having been said, I hope the following post is put in perspective. Also note that the post has been slightly edited and revised. May it spur you to consider how you serve the Savior.

Spiritual Communists

One of the most challenging things I find in Southern Baptist life is the way in which most of us ponder our conversion experience. We tout the doctrine of "Eternal Security" or "Once Saved Always Saved" (both of whose titles can be misleading) so strongly that we have a tendency to "secure" those that have no basis of security whatsoever.

In fact, I have seen that testimonies and conversion stories simply become a man-centered basis of assurance and a reason to take pride in our eternal destination without spurring us forward in Christian service. It's almost a ticket to "take it easy" in the Christian life, knowing that our destination is secure. Personal lives tend to play out this attitude, for as long as one has said a prayer in the past, there's really no impetus for future service. We simply become the Christian version of the Communists, for in their system it makes no difference how hard you work or how dedicated an employee you are. The fact remains that you end up in the same place with the same benefits, and you are a communist no matter how little you work. The same is not true of the Christian world, for a true Christian will show the fruits of Christian character. And, although every Christian will arrive in heaven one day, we will not receive all of the same benefits and rewards.

Unfortunately, this “take it easy” view of "Eternal Security" is skewed and my Arminian friends (who believe salvation can be lost) are often right when they point an accusing finger and say, "Eternal Security leads to lazy Christianity." They simply are not always wrong. Take a look at your average Southern Baptist who claim to have had a genuine conversion in experience in the past. Chances are, if it's a Sunday morning when you're looking at them it's because you're blocking their view of the TV.

Let's be clear, a conversion experience that changes the heart of the believer will lead that believer to be a part of God's people, the Church, which is His Body. And Heb. 10:24-25 reminds us that anything less is sin.

An Interesting Kind of Statement

This particular "Fashion Statement" cracked me up!

Were It Not for Grace (My Testimony)

It was a long and arduous process for me to become a genuinely converted believer. I thought I was saved as a child at the age of seven. I said a prayer, but I cannot remember what was said. In fact, I don’t really remember why I said it. I was a pretty self-righteous kid. I very rarely got into trouble, and I was pretty obedient to my parents. In fact, I tried very hard to please them, and I always wanted them to be proud of me. Praying to receive Christ at the age of seven was just a normal step for a kid like me, but it wasn’t genuine. It took me several years to realize that.

As I grew up, I became more and more involved in church and theological studies. I sensed God calling me into the ministry, specifically the music ministry. Of course, it wasn’t until my conversion that the ministry became an ultimate reality in the truest sense.

During my lostness, especially during high school, I was always very uncomfortable with my salvation testimony. I remember hearing Erwin Lutzer speak of those that had been genuinely converted as a child, but they may not be able to remember the details. I hung onto that, but it didn’t give me much assurance.

I discovered God had gifted me musically, and I wanted to use those talents to serve Him. Music ministry simply became another crop that I offered to God. Like Cain, it was what I had to offer, but it was not offered with a true heart of faith. I went off to college, and began working on a church music degree. I finally made the decision to change colleges and actually began attending a Bible college (Boyce College in Louisville, KY; the school is part of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary).

However, the doubts never went away, and with good reason. I thought if I entered a Christianized atmosphere that the sinfulness of my heart and the doubt of my soul’s eternal state would slowly dissipate. That never came. In fact, I actually became more inwardly sinful and outwardly righteous. I was a Pharisee. I was like the apostle Paul. My credentials were really good, especially since I became the music minister at Parkwood Southern Baptist in Clarksville, IN. I planned and led worship and directed the choir. I was Sunday School superintendent, a Sunday School teacher, and (most recently) the FAITH evangelism director. Each role became a notch on my belt, which was choking me as I slowly kept descending into the pit of hell. I had the “form of godliness” but no power (2 Timothy 3:5).

I can’t help but think of Paul and his credentials. He wrote:

If anyone else thinks he may have confidence in the flesh, I more so: 5 circumcised the eighth day, of the stock of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of the Hebrews; concerning the law, a Pharisee; 6 concerning zeal, persecuting the church; concerning the righteousness which is in the law, blameless. 7 But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. 8 Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith; 10 that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, 11 if, by any means, I may attain to the resurrection from the dead. (Phil. 3:4-11, NKJV)

To put my situation in Paul’s format: Concerning my spiritual upbringing, I said the “sinner’s prayer” and was baptized as a young child; concerning my spiritual heritage, my great-grandfather, grandfather, and father were all pastors; concerning the law, I was a good citizen and a Southern Baptist—didn’t drink, smoke, or have sex; concerning zeal, I witnessed to most of my 5th grade class, led Bible studies, directed choirs, led worship, prayed, read my Bible; concerning righteousness, I was considered a faithful believer by anyone’s standards. However, ALL of that is rubbish to me now, empty deeds done out of a stony heart.

Finally, to the turning point—one of the classes I am taking this semester is Christian Theology III with Dr. Russell Moore. I remember several of his comments on the first and second days of class. I remember him saying that someone may come to Christ through his class. He talked of how we can sometimes miss our sinfulness and lostness when we’re always in a Christian environment. That kind of setting simply falsely anesthetizes us to our need. That pierced my heart, and conviction began to set in. He also spoke of how we may be reading the material in the book (which for the first few weeks covered the elements of the gospel) and realize that we are lost. I remember thinking to myself, “What if that’s ME???” As God’s sovereign plan began to flesh out, I ultimately realized that it was me!

The night of my conversion was February 1, 2005, at about 9:55 PM or so. I remember looking at my watch after praying, and it was about 10:00 PM. I was reading my homework assignments in Wayne Grudem’s excellent Systematic Theology while watching American Idol in the background. Then, I came to this sentence found on page 694: “Every non-Christian hearing these words [of Jesus in Matt. 11:28-30] should be encouraged to think of them as words that Jesus Christ is even now, at this very moment, speaking to him or to her individually.” He continues in the paragraph, “This is a genuine personal invitation that seeks a personal response from each one who hears it.” I knew I had to stop the tape that I was watching, which I almost never did. I knew something was happening within my heart.

As I read that 1st sentence, the weight of my sin came crashing down upon me. I begin to go over what Wayne Grudem had written in the previous paragraphs about what the gospel is, and I went through the list simply affirming to God that I believed all of these things: that I have sinned, that I deserve death, and that Jesus paid the penalty for me. At first, my praying was simply of the variety of “I don’t know if I’m truly a believer…Show me if I am.” Then, near the end of my praying it was “Lord, I don’t know You at all, save me!” I told Him that I give up all the righteousness that I had merited on my own, and I submitted that to Him at that moment.

I felt different…A weight had been lifted, and a new excitement and joy flooded my heart. Now I truly understand the message of one of my favorite hymns:

1. And can it be that I should gain
An interest in the Savior’s blood?
Died he for me, who caused his pain?
For me, who him to death pursued?
Amazing love! How can it be
That thou, my Lord, shouldst die for me?

2. Long my imprisoned spirit lay,
Fast bound in sin and nature’s night;
Thine eye diffused a quickening ray;
I woke, the dungeon flamed with light;
My chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed thee.

3. No condemnation now I dread;
Jesus, and all in him, is mine;
Alive in him, my living Head,
And clothed in righteousness divine,
Bold I approach th’eternal throne,
And claim the crown, through Christ my own.

Refrain: Amazing love, how can it be
That thou, my Lord, shouldst die for me?

My soul is awake from the dungeon, and I willingly submit my life to Jesus Christ. Praise Him for His mercy in reviving this corpse and breathing into it new life, an abundant life that is eternal. Amen!

I leave you with the 1st verse and chorus of another one of my favorite songs, "Were It Not for Grace." This song captures my testimony and what God's done in my life:

VERSE 1
Time measured out my days
Life carried me along
In my soul I yearned to follow God
But knew I'd never be so strong
I looked hard at this world
To learn how heaven could be gained
Just to end where I began
Where human effort is all in vain

CHORUS
Were it not for grace
I can tell you where I'd be
Wandering down some pointless road to nowhere
With my salvation up to me
I know how that would go
The battles I would face
Forever running but losing the race
Were it not for grace

Jesus says: "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light"

MATTHEW 11:28-30 (NASB)

On the Way

This is somewhat of a teaser, but there will be some new entries added in the coming days. I'll be taking many of the entries from my other blog and posting them onto this new blog, so please feel free to come back!

The next post will probably be the story of my conversion, and I am excited to be able to share my story with you.

Thanks for dropping by!

Testimony

It was a long and arduous process for me to become a genuinely converted believer. I thought I was saved as a child at the age of seven. I said a prayer, but I cannot remember what was said. In fact, I don’t really remember why I said it. I was a pretty self-righteous kid. I very rarely got into trouble, and I was pretty obedient to my parents. In fact, I tried very hard to please them, and I always wanted them to be proud of me. Praying to receive Christ at the age of seven was just a normal step for a kid like me, but it wasn’t genuine. It took me several years to realize that.

As I grew up, I became more and more involved in church and theological studies. I sensed God calling me into the ministry, specifically the music ministry. Of course, it wasn’t until my conversion that the ministry became an ultimate reality in the truest sense.

During my lostness, especially during high school, I was always very uncomfortable with my salvation testimony. I remember hearing Erwin Lutzer speak of those that had been genuinely converted as a child, but they may not be able to remember the details. I hung onto that, but it didn’t give me much assurance.

I discovered God had gifted me musically, and I wanted to use those talents to serve Him. Music ministry simply became another crop that I offered to God. Like Cain, it was what I had to offer, but it was not offered with a true heart of faith. I went off to college, and began working on a church music degree. I finally made the decision to change colleges and actually began attending a Bible college (Boyce College in Louisville, KY; the school is part of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary).

However, the doubts never went away, and with good reason. I thought if I entered a Christianized atmosphere that the sinfulness of my heart and the doubt of my soul’s eternal state would slowly dissipate. That never came. In fact, I actually became more inwardly sinful and outwardly righteous. I was a Pharisee. I was like the apostle Paul. My credentials were really good, especially since I became the music minister at Parkwood Southern Baptist in Clarksville, IN. I planned and led worship and directed the choir. I was Sunday School superintendent, a Sunday School teacher, and (most recently) the FAITH evangelism director. Each role became a notch on my belt, which was choking me as I slowly kept descending into the pit of hell. I had the “form of godliness” but no power (2 Timothy 3:5).

I can’t help but think of Paul and his credentials. He wrote:

If anyone else thinks he may have confidence in the flesh, I more so: 5 circumcised the eighth day, of the stock of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of the Hebrews; concerning the law, a Pharisee; 6 concerning zeal, persecuting the church; concerning the righteousness which is in the law, blameless. 7 But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. 8 Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith; 10 that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, 11 if, by any means, I may attain to the resurrection from the dead. (Phil. 3:4-11, NKJV)

To put my situation in Paul’s format: Concerning my spiritual upbringing, I said the “sinner’s prayer” and was baptized as a young child; concerning my spiritual heritage, my great-grandfather, grandfather, and father were all pastors; concerning the law, I was a good citizen and a Southern Baptist—didn’t drink, smoke, or have sex; concerning zeal, I witnessed to most of my 5th grade class, led Bible studies, directed choirs, led worship, prayed, read my Bible; concerning righteousness, I was considered a faithful believer by anyone’s standards. However, ALL of that is rubbish to me now, empty deeds done out of a stony heart.

Finally, to the turning point—one of the classes I am taking this semester is Christian Theology III with Dr. Russell Moore. I remember several of his comments on the first and second days of class. I remember him saying that someone may come to Christ through his class. He talked of how we can sometimes miss our sinfulness and lostness when we’re always in a Christian environment. That kind of setting simply falsely anesthetizes us to our need. That pierced my heart, and conviction began to set in. He also spoke of how we may be reading the material in the book (which for the first few weeks covered the elements of the gospel) and realize that we are lost. I remember thinking to myself, “What if that’s ME???” As God’s sovereign plan began to flesh out, I ultimately realized that it was me!

The night of my conversion was February 1, 2005, at about 9:55 PM or so. I remember looking at my watch after praying, and it was about 10:00 PM. I was reading my homework assignments in Wayne Grudem’s excellent Systematic Theology while watching American Idol in the background. Then, I came to this sentence found on page 694: “Every non-Christian hearing these words [of Jesus in Matt. 11:28-30] should be encouraged to think of them as words that Jesus Christ is even now, at this very moment, speaking to him or to her individually.” He continues in the paragraph, “This is a genuine personal invitation that seeks a personal response from each one who hears it.” I knew I had to stop the tape that I was watching, which I almost never did. I knew something was happening within my heart.

As I read that 1st sentence, the weight of my sin came crashing down upon me. I begin to go over what Wayne Grudem had written in the previous paragraphs about what the gospel is, and I went through the list simply affirming to God that I believed all of these things: that I have sinned, that I deserve death, and that Jesus paid the penalty for me. At first, my praying was simply of the variety of “I don’t know if I’m truly a believer…Show me if I am.” Then, near the end of my praying it was “Lord, I don’t know You at all, save me!” I told Him that I give up all the righteousness that I had merited on my own, and I submitted that to Him at that moment.

I felt different…A weight had been lifted, and a new excitement and joy flooded my heart. Now I truly understand the message of one of my favorite hymns:

1. And can it be that I should gain
An interest in the Savior’s blood?
Died he for me, who caused his pain?
For me, who him to death pursued?
Amazing love! How can it be
That thou, my Lord, shouldst die for me?

2. Long my imprisoned spirit lay,
Fast bound in sin and nature’s night;
Thine eye diffused a quickening ray;
I woke, the dungeon flamed with light;
My chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed thee.

3. No condemnation now I dread;
Jesus, and all in him, is mine;
Alive in him, my living Head,
And clothed in righteousness divine,
Bold I approach th’eternal throne,
And claim the crown, through Christ my own.

Refrain: Amazing love, how can it be
That thou, my Lord, shouldst die for me?

My soul is awake from the dungeon, and I willingly submit my life to Jesus Christ. Praise Him for His mercy in reviving this corpse and breathing into it new life, an abundant life that is eternal. Amen!

I leave you with the 1st verse and chorus of another one of my favorite songs, "Were It Not for Grace." This song captures my testimony and what God's done in my life:

VERSE 1
Time measured out my days
Life carried me along
In my soul I yearned to follow God
But knew I'd never be so strong
I looked hard at this world
To learn how heaven could be gained
Just to end where I began
Where human effort is all in vain

CHORUS
Were it not for grace
I can tell you where I'd be
Wandering down some pointless road to nowhere
With my salvation up to me
I know how that would go
The battles I would face
Forever running but losing the race
Were it not for grace

Jesus says: "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light"

MATTHEW 11:28-30 (NASB)

The Idealized Devotional Life

Some of David Powlison's words in Seeing with New Eyes really shook me up the other day, so much so that I wrote, "Wow...I never thought about it like that" in the margin of the book. He described the process of personalizing Psalm 131 and begins with this paragraph: "Your biggest problem is proud self-will. That's the noise machine inside you. And there is a way to gain composure through the Lord. What should you do now so you can honestly say, 'My heart is not proud'? How can you make this psalm your own? How do you quiet yourself?" (p. 86).

He has a series of four bulleted sets of questions that are designed to help us "identify the ladders to nowhere that pride erects" (p. 86). It was the very first section that caught my eye and convicted my heart. He writes:

Where do you raise up ladders of achievement? How do you go for victory, for grades, for promotion, for the big church, for the the idealized devotional life? (p. 86).

Wow! I had never looked at my striving for a better devotional life like this. It seems that I have this rosy, idealized picture of what my devotional life should look like. In fact, I believe that I impose extra-biblical standards upon myself at times, and instead of spurring me on to reach the mark that I place so high, I simply want to sit in the corner and throw the baton to the other guy.

Does anyone else face struggles like this? If so, take comfort in the fact that you're standing with God is ultimately not due to any personal righteousness on your part but due to the imputed righteousness of Christ. In a personal e-mail, Matt White encouraged me in my struggle with sin with these words: "To see myself as a sinner, yet more than that, perfect in Christ whom no one can judge comes as great comfort and release."

God desires that we enjoy Him, and this manifests itself differently in each believer. I must not succumb to feelings of guilt because I do not read 10 chapters from the Old Testament every morning before I go to work.

I urge you to enjoy the Christian life and your walk with the Lord, for it is a pleasurable experience to delight in the delightful Savior. I believe that Satan knows it's effective to seek and lay guilt upon us for what we seem as deficiencies in our devotional life, for he is the accuser of the brethren. He also seeks to rob joy from us so that the time will be stale and will often seem unproductive to us, so that we may ultimately throw up our hands and quit. Satan's purpose is for us to see this time to be unfruitful and simply become discouraged in our walk.

In Manly Dominion, Mark Chanski quotes J.C. Ryle with regards to personal devotion [I've condensed the three paragraphs into one long block quotation]:

This paper may fall into the hands of someone who reads the Bible much, and yet fancies he is no better for his reading. This is a crafty temptation of the devil. At one stage he says, 'Do not read the Bible at all.' At another he says, 'Your reading does no good; give it up.'...The greatest effects are by no means those which make the most noise, and are most easily observed. The greatest effects are often silent, quiet, and hard to detect at the time they are being produced...There may be far more doing than you think in your soul by your Bible reading...Settle it down in your mind as an established rule, that, whether you feel it at the moment or not, you are inhaling spiritual health by reading the Bible, and insensibly becoming more strong. (p. 134).

Finally, may these promises of Scripture encourage your heart:

1. The Word is Alive--The Word is alive and can accomplish God's purpose. Scripture reminds us that "The Word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart" (Heb. 4:12, NASB). The Bible is at times the blade of a surgeon, and it may be used to do imperceptible good in our lives. Like a patient under anesthesia, the effects of the surgeon's blade are not felt immediately. I have often read or memorized a particular verse and have it impact me in an amazing way at a time far removed from when I first learned it.

2. The Word is Effectual--The Word is effectual and will accomplish God's purpose. God reminds us in the Bible that the Word which he sends out "shall not return to Me empty, without accomplishing what I desire" (Is. 55:11, NASB). God's Word will always accomplish what He desires. We ministers frequently take comfort from this verse with regard to our public ministries. We take comfort in knowing that God's Word will accomplish His purposes when used in preaching, teaching, and personal evangelism. However, we're not so good at letting it comfort us in our personal lives of devotion before the Lord. However, trust in God and His Word! Reading Scripture is never a fruitful activity, for God is slowly using what you're reading to edify you and build up your faith.

Because the Bible is alive, it can affect you; because it is effectual, it will affect you. Encountering the Word of God is never a fruitless activity, and I can only pause to thank my God for the power of His Word.

I Can Comment!

I have finally overcome my reservations and have created a blog with Blogger. I was just too annoyed by my inability to post comments on different blogs hosted by Blogger. So, here I am!

My original blog is at: http://kjw.blog-city.com

I encourage you to visit me there. I started that blog in the summer of '04, I believe. After my conversion, I totally wiped the thing out and started over again the fall of '05. Anyhow, feel free to visit there, and you can learn a whole lot more about me...probably more than you cared to know!

Thanks for visiting, and please feel free to check out my main blog, "My Life in Christ."

Blessings!